Thanks 2013, You’ve Been A Cluster@!#$

On par with the rest of my year December was a pretty brutal month. The passing of my boyfriend, Nicholas, father kept me feeling pretty empty, void of any inspiration to write.  Any piece I tried to write about my experience, our experience, and death in general would end up in the exact same way after 10 minutes- crying. Hopefully in the coming months I can power through the grief and write something really memorable and also heartfelt but I felt bad, having started this blog this year, leaving 2013 without a farewell post beforehand.

I decided because I’m lazy it’s easier, to integrate my 2014 resolutions with my top 13 moments from 2013. I’m a maverick.

13.  Started this blog! 

2014 Resolution: Bring this blog to the next level — That means writing more pieces, more consistently and with even more topics. Sure, I’ll keep writing the deep reflective pieces that helped me to solidify this blog but in 2014 look for to spend $$ to customize this blog and fill it with reviews, tutorials, lists and even some Q & A’s. By this time next year I plan to triple my viewership and reach even more readers than I even thought possible.

12. Gained weight, lost weight, & everything in between.

2014 Resolution: Maintain a healthy weight — I’m not going to set myself up for failure by making a resolution to lose such and such a weight (for the record it would be a whopping 25 lbs, & no I don’t want to talk about it.) but I did join Planet Fitness and I’ll be spending at least a 3rd more time in the gym than I did in 2013  (which, for the record was none). But in the end if I wind up only losing a few pounds I’ll be just as happy because I’ll have gained nothing. Low expectations people, low expectations.

11. Made new friends.

2014 Resolution: Keep new friends — Flake less, go out more. Take time out for girl time that isn’t every 3-4 months just to “catch up”. Be involved in my friends lives and keep building on the bonds that I worked to create this year. Sounds easy but in a world where I work 8am – 5pm, take active part in the two above mentioned resolutions, AND maintain a relationship this is literally the most daunting thing on my resolutions so far.

10. Realized campaign politics may not be for me.

2014 Resolution: Sit out a campaign cycle.— It’s a midterm year and while I know many of my peers will be itching to get back out to the trenches and elect some, hopefully stronger work ethic, politicians I’m going to sit on the sidelines and simple just cast a ballot this year. It’ll be hard with people like Wendy Davis running in Texas and a sure to be nail biter here in AZ for the Governors seat but unless it’s Josiah Barlett I think you can count me out in 2014… 2016 isn’t all that far and I best decide if I’m out of politics for a while or if I just need a little time off.

9. Got my own digs.

2014 Resolution: Get “our” OWN digs. — I finally was able to find the most amazing little place that I get to share with some awesome roomies but this year it’s big girl time and that means Nicholas and I will be getting our own place together at some point in the next 3-6 months. I don’t want to glaze over what a big deal that is and I’m 90% positive that some awesome blog post about moving in with your boyfriend will be making the headlines soon in 2014 but I’m excited about us finally having a place of our own sans roomies! I’m going to be buying a couch ya’ll (damn IKEA).

8. Survived my first crash.

2014 Resolution: Buy my first car. — You heard me right, on top of getting my first ever apartment I’ll be going through the painstaking experience of buying my first car BY MYSELF. That means doing the research, saving the down payment, and handing over a good 3rd of monthly income on something that literally I only use to get to and from work. Oy. Also I won’t be crashing this one.

7. I learned a lot about beauty (and it goes way past only skin deep).

2014 Resolution: Teach What I’ve Learned. — If you reread #13 on this list than you know that more tutorials are coming and I’m prepared to attempt to show people how I maintain my just about average level of style. Trust me, this blog will never turn into a walking talking Pinterest board but I have some cute tricks up my sleeve that have kept me from looking like the grim reaper at age 23. That includes a much anticipated  How Black Girl Really Do Their Hair that no one but me wants to read anyway.

6. I became well rounded in customer service.

2014 Resolution: Be well rounded in entirely different field. — I studied politics and did okay with my 1.5 election cycles but the bulk of the last 5 years have been customer service job after customer service job and after a year of bouncing around from place to place I’m happy to be working booking models at my current job as far as can be from your typical customer service “How I can I assist you” service jobs. As I learn more and more about promotional modeling and the marketing behind it I hope to be even more skilled than I could have ever hoped for.

5. I lived in New York.

2014 Resolution: Travel more, see more. — I would hardly call my 6 weeks in NY a success (see bottom resolutions for more clarification) but since I technically can cross “live in NYC” off my list it’s on to bigger and brighter things. Like maybe a Hawaii trip?(I won’t cross my fingers but you never know). I will however spend more time back where I grew up in the Bay Area, lighten my load with another Laguna Beach vacation (long live Laguna 2012), and maybe even learn to ski in the Colorado mountains. And if I’m lucky perhaps I will FINALLY revisit my old DC stomping grounds for a long weekend , cherry blossom season anyone?!

4. I saw my family.

2014 Resolution: See my family more. — I haven’t seen my brother in ages! I haven’t seen my Dad in even longer and my last trip to see my Aunt & Uncle was way too short, even for me. 2014 is all about seeing my blood relatives more even if it’s just for a 3 day weekend.

3. I financially scraped by. 

2014 Resolution: More than financially scrape by. — I’m not thinking a huge savings will be waiting for me at the end of 2014 but a stronger hold on my credit and debit account could be nice. Granted all the above resolution indicate spending more & not less but I think I can still pinch a few pennies around here.

2. I saved my relationship.

2014 Resolution: Enjoy my relationship — It’s not easy to be in a relationship, let alone given the circumstances that my boyfriend and I have been in and out of for the past 2 years but somehow (and this might qualify as my 2013 miracle) we found ourselves more in love than ever. Have we worked out all our problems? No, just like any relationship we have our moments but we’ve found more patience, more kindness, more support for one another in this year and we’ve really become each others rock throughout this fall and winter. We’re best friends in every sense of the word and I look forward to enjoying a jam packed year laughing my ass off every step of the way.

1. I almost died and someone actually did. 

2014 Resolution: Live. — I owe it to myself. I’ve spent the majority of the year, and even most of 2012 surviving and it took a brutal year like this to realize that, that’s not living. I owe it to myself to laugh more, to play more, to be more myself and enjoy those around me. It sounds simple but boy has it been hard. Somehow I’ve remained resilient, somehow I’ve kept my head up just enough to see that being in your early twenties is a lot like learning how to drive a car. For a while you can’t figure out why anyone would trust you behind the wheel of something so precious that could easily turn into a moving coffin. You struggle to learn things that can’t be taught, realizing that no amount of “driving test” can prepare you for the unpredictable roads ahead. You feel liberated and yet apprehensive and then accomplished all at once. But before you know it you’re listening to the radio, volume turned all the way up, cruising. That’s where I plan to be in 2014. Crusin.

And now for the only song that could possibly close that. This song is for you Ron, RIP and thanks for living your life to the fullest every year! ❤

Happy New Years Eve Blog readers! Stay safe, see you next year!