Happy Birthday God I Hate My 20’s!!!

keep-calm-and-happy-1st-birthday-2I cannot believe a year ago I started this crazy idea for a blog and now here I am a year later celebrating it. When I first started writing I was in such a sad, sad place, I hated being in my twenties (for the most part I still do) and I was angry that I couldn’t find anyone to identify with me and my struggles on many of the forums I visit. So this was born! And what a difference a year makes! I am happier, healthier, and a better writer than I have ever been and am truly, utterly, and completely grateful and humbled by all the many people in my life who have supported me in getting to this point. I hope for many (or at least 6) more years of this blog and many more followers as well. As promised here is an interview transcript that I did with my friend Jessica last week talking about my writing and this blog! Hope you enjoy and tks for reading!

Jessica: Chelsea Ellen, you’re blog is about to turn 1!
Me: I know it’s some crazy shit, I can’t even believe it… wait is this how you’re going to be asking me questions for this interview. It has to be professional.

Jessica: Right. Okay. How much has having a blog changed your life?
Me: Wow, a lot. I’ve living my life out loud, that’s very life changing. Everyone knows all my dirty little secrets, it’s terrifying but also helpful. Ive gotten encouragement from a lot of people I never thought possible.

Jessica: Did you ever want to just say “fuck it” and delete the blog all together?
Me: Yes! My first really big piece on this blog was Stop it, You’re Hurting Me which was a really serious and emotional piece for me, but also a really serious piece for him (my ex Nicholas) and after he read it the reaction was so terrible I wanted to just pretend this blog never happened…

Jessica: But you didn’t?

Me: No. I was commmited even from the beginning on what I wanted this blog to be. It wasn’t about him it was about me.

Jessica: That was a year ago but you guys only broke up a few months ago.

Me: … Yeah – I think for me it was a journey. It’s really not easy leaving someone you love or rather loved. It’s hard. You don’t want to hurt them, you don’t want to throw everything away that you built together. I think I stayed with him as long as I could and then when I really started to grow and realize where my life was headed and that there really wasn’t a place for him in the new life I just let go.

Jessica: You wrote about that too?

Me: I did, I didn’t write it here but on Thought Catalog called I’m Sorry You’re Not The One and it was exactly how I felt after it all ended and it’s still exactly how I feel today. I’m very apologetic that I broke someone else’s heart. It sucks. But it’s what I needed to do for me.

Jessica: Tell me about Thought Catalog, how has that played a role in you writing and the development of this blog.

Me: I think one of the very first articles I ever wrote was called Thought Catalog and it was probably more of a “That’s Just Your Opinion” piece before I even developed that as a blgo concept but, yeah. The goal was always to publish with them, I was a huge fan of Chelsea Fagan who’s a senior writer there and I felt like people would read my stuff, I just knew my experiences were relatable. I really did. But I also knew I wasn’t a strong enough writer this time last year to really be taken seriously over there. So I worked on it and then around the end of April of this year I finally got some stuff published and it kept growing and growing. I love TC, I feel like it’s my extended family now.

Jessica: You really admire the writers on there –

Me: I’m seriously obsessed with like half of them. If you’re not reading Chelsea Fagan, Lance Pauker, Chris Hudspeth, Raul Felix, Jamie Varon, Shawn Binders, Ella Ceron, Brianna Weist, I literally could go on all day – you are just not reading some of the best stuff out there right now if you haven’t subscribed to them. I’m still so in awe of all of their talents, I think reading their stuff has made me a better writer in every single sense of the word.

Jessica: So why keep the blog, why not write for TC all the time?

Me: My blog is like my baby. I’ve spent so much time building the following for this blog I don’t think I could ever abandon that. I’m very committed, like I said, when I want something bad enough I commit fully and I wanted this blog to be a success, not me as a person. I’m grateful that anyone reads what I write, I know Thought Catalog has a built in audience but this blog is my heart and soul so…

Jessica: Now that you’re single how has that changed your writing?

Me: I think I’ve opened up a little bit more. I think my writing in general is my way of connecting to people in a way that is difficult for me in real life. It’s a gateway to my true feelings, I think that’s important to note.

Jessica: … and you’re dating someone new!!! How does he like your blog?

Me: I don’t know if he’s made it to my blog… I think he reads my TC stuff pretty often, he’s great. I don’t think I’ll ever date anyone again who isn’t supportive of my writing or reads my stuff. That’s really the biggest compliment anyone could give me is “I read your stuff” because it just means the world to me…. Now I’m just giving away ideas for guys out there on how to get me to like you haha.

Jessica: What’s been your favorite piece this year that you’ve written?

Me: I have a lot of them from recently but I did write this one piece last summer called If You Want A Girl That’s Simple, which is my obnoxious attempt at poetry, and I thought it was really good. It spoke to my heart and I think one of my guy friends was telling me about his dating life and how he just wanted to “date someone simple” and I remember feeling so disgusted at that notion. Because, like why?! Why would anyone want that?!

Jessica: What was your least favorite piece?

Me: …. Most of the first few. Reading them now I just see how bad I was at articulating thought. I think the more I read the better I became. So yeah….

Jessica: Where do you see yourself this time next year?

Me: Would you laugh if I told you I wrote about it. this is what I imagine it too look like. Maybe not literally but I want to travel, I want to be in love, I want to have great supportive friends and I want to write about all of it.

Jessica: This is really long how should we end this?

Me: I think we can just stop recording. 🙂

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