My boyfriend and I met at the worst possible time but in the best possible way. I was just shy of my 21st birthday and unbeknownst to me, only 2 months away from leaving to join my first ever campaign in VA for President Obama’s reelection. Suffice to say it was not the best time to get into something serious but , when you’re busy making plans…
We are 2 totally different people- he grew up in Arizona the youngest of four boys with two of the most happily married people I’ve have ever met & I grew up on the coast of California, solo (except for the summers I spent with my Dad and brother) and for the most part with a young, single mom. Yet we could spend all night talking about anything and everything that we did have in common. We both loved football, food, and the California surf & sand, not to mention we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We were the perfect balance to each other, he was calm and patient, I was loud and animated, and we were inseparable.
And then, just like most relationships do, the honeymoon ended. I went off to be the ambitious politico I had been working my whole life to be and he stayed in Arizona, continuing his progress both physically and mentally after a bumpy start to his twenties. And when I needed him most he was there, to drive me across country and to push me towards yet another campaign,this time in San Francisco. Our first year together was plagued by, well…. life. Once the campaigns were over we planned to move in together but things went from bad to worse and as his father disease continued to progress, even faster than anyone wanted to believe, our plans changed. But we held it together, both of us sinking into depression as we watched our relationship weather storms so rough I didn’t think we’d make it. Of course, we loved each other but our relationship started to turn more toxic than healthy and with incredible strength and the knowledge that we had to change something , we took a beat. I took a short term position in New York and we mutually decided we’d try to figure out who we were as people separately after so much in both of our lives had changed, and then see if we could stay together. After I got back we took things slow, almost like we had we first started dating. We had never stopped loving one another but we rediscovered why we liked one another. Before we knew it we’d come upon our 2 year anniversary and we were closer than ever before but unfortunately, things elsewhere weren’t going so well.
The day after Thanksgiving, Nicholas’s father passed away after a 3 year battle with ALS. The morning Nicholas called to tell me I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to feel that much heartbreak. Seeing him go through the most life changing experience a person can go through, the loss of a parent, rocked me to my core. I found a level of empathy and sympathy for him that came so naturally because I love him so much. Watching his family struggle through the last few weeks of Ron’s life was like watching my own family struggle, but from the sidelines there was nothing I could say or do to make the person I loved the most feel anything other than pain. It hurt. It still does. Yet, out of such tragedy we grew closer and not further apart. My biggest fear was that the death of his father would push him away from me and instead we’ve reached a new level of our relationship. Looking at him as his family and friends gathered for his fathers funeral I saw someone I was so proud to call mine. Nicholas has always supported me in everything I’ve wanted to do and honestly, anyone who can put up with me deserves some sort of medal. Everyday he makes me laugh and when it’s just him and I it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, I’m having fun. He is the most loving, generous, and heartfelt person I’ve ever been with. His ability to grow and change is so apparent in the fact that he’s not who he was when I first met him- he’s better.
It’s not a traditional love story but it’s ours.