That’s Just Your Opinion: Vanessa Elizabeth

egwIn an effort to make my blog more consistent I’m going to start a series that will periodically pop up when I see articles that are far and away the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. I don’t want to come across as someone who puts other writers down but I figure when you write an opinion piece you’re opening yourself up to a lot of blow back and this article was a doozy!

Piece: 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged When You’re 23

First appeared in: & Huff Po. com

Author: Vanessa Elizabeth  

WTF: This has been a common occurrence as of late, that twenty-something writers feel the need to discourage other twenty-somethings from getting married or engaged prior to hitting 30 and having it all figured out. This conception that anyone who gets married young is stupid and doesn’t understand the magnitude of such a life event is, to me, the equivalent of women in the 50’s & 60’s  discouraging women from having careers. It’s gross, it’s one-sided, and it’s a blanket generalization geared towards the shaming of young women who make other life plans and goals separate from the norm!

The Evidence: Below is the literal list of things this writer says you should do instead of getting engaged or married at 23 [[with my commentary obviously]]:

1. Get a passport. [[Honestly you should probably get a passport the minute you turn 21. Why wait till 23?! Also, if you get engaged or married you probably are already getting a passport for your honeymoon anyway.]]

2. Find your “thing.” [[Again–  at 23? You should have a “thing” before then. Honestly you’ve been out of high school for 5 years, if you don’t already have a “thing” ,whatever it may be, you’re already a slacker so you probably shouldn’t be getting married]]

3. Make out with a stranger. [[Why is this good advice?!]]

4. Adopt a pet. [[ Okay this one is cool, but not sure why you can’t get engaged until you have a pet… What a weird prerequisite]]

5. Start a band. [[… if you can play an instrument… we don’t need any foe bands just because this chick says you have to otherwise you can’t get engaged]]

6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too. [[Again why wait until 23? Cake is good, literally, all the time]]

7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage. [[ Do not get a tattoo! She’s right, it’s more permanent than marriage, which may I remind you she’s advising against…. this makes no sense]]

8. Explore a new religion. [[Sure… you can do that married too you know…]]

9. Start a small business. [[Why would a 23-year-old have enough funds to start a small business?Also that’s a huge commitment, on level with getting hitched I would think, so not sure why she proposes this instead…]]

10. Cut your hair. [[ You should really be doing this regardless of age or relationship status. Guys should be getting cuts every 4 – 6 weeks and girls should trim every 6-8 weeks… #JustSaying]]

11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. [[WHY IS THIS EVEN ADVICE. THIS IS HORRIBLE. DON’T DO THIS!!!]]

12. Build something with your hands. [[Any kid who’s been through middle school wood shop or ceramics has accomplished this one.]]

13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. [[No…. that’s… like why is this a marker of any sort of success?!]]

14. Join the Peace Corps. [[Okay the Peace Corps is a 2 year commitment in a 3rd world country and you get paid minimally. I’m not saying don’t join, it’s an awesome program started during the JFK years that remains great even today. And sure, it’s great if you’re trying to expand your professional networking circle and if you have NO OTHER COMMITMENTS that allows you to just up and leave to Uganda for 2 years, but let’s be real here, we have student loans so this is just ridiculous.]]

15. Disappoint your parents. [[You’ve already done that so much by 23 that this should actually read “Do not disappoint your parents”.]]

16. Watch Girlsover and over again. [[… if you want to poke your eyeballs out and die. #WhiteGirlProblems]]

17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. [[ Do you think she actually reads any of her own advice!? You know Nutella is just a jar of chocolate right…? Have fun getting the shits.]]

18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. [[ If you’ve been to any type of college I guarantee you that you’ve already done this.]]

19. Sign up for CrossFit. [[Sure. Also go Vegan and buy a pet lizard. At this point she’s just naming things that are trendy.]]

20. Hangout naked in front of a window. [[ Again, why you have to wait until 23 to do this is dumb. Also it’s bad advice #4]]

21. Write your feelings down in a blog. [[Good. Good. Better.]]

22. Be selfish. [[ You’re 23 you’re already as selfish as you’ll ever be.]]

23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. [[No, because you give horrible advice and odds are you’ll be naked in front of a window the whole time making people uncomfortable and kissing strangers.]]

My Opinion: Okay, so here it is,– why do we continue to give a fuck who gets engaged and at what age?! Stay in your lane. For some people getting married early makes sense and is their prerogative to do because we live in a free fucking country. Not to mention this girl sounds like a bit of a loose cannon, she definitely shouldn’t be getting married, but not everyone our age acts our age. I mean I get her concern, that’s the reason why I, at 23 and in a fully monogamous, long-term relationship, will not be getting married this year. But do I see myself getting married before I’m 30? Sure, and I would prefer if girls like this didn’t judge the relationship status of people she’s never even met before. #SorryNotSorry

End of rant until next installment. And feel free to follow and like Vanessa’s blog if this is the type of advice you feel aligns with your life style, I’m sure I won’t.


3 thoughts on “That’s Just Your Opinion: Vanessa Elizabeth

  1. Oh my god! I totally agree with you. I feel she is bitter about something. Getting married or engaged does not end your life. It bothered me so much how many people loved it. You can be married, divorced, single or engaged at the age of 23 and it’s okay. Not everyone has the same path. Some of us discovered ourselves earlier than others and found the one earlier than others. I loved you post!

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