10 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure I’d Be Best Friends With Chelsea Fagan

Screen Shot 2013-10-31 at 1.22.49 PMI’m a pretty avid reader of Thought Catalog. I’ll skim the articles once or twice a week, everything from the silly to the mundane and all the in-between, but only one author makes me literally laugh out loud and she also bares my name. For obvious reasons (at least to me, and aren’t I the only one who matters) I’m pretty sure if we ever met in real life we’d be instant best friends, which is why I’ve outlined the 10 reasons for this below. Chelsea if you’re reading this please do not think I’m a giant creeper/stalker. I’m a fan…probably nothing to worry about.

10. We spell our names with the SEA and not some other way dumb whore lame way. She totally understands why if a random Starbucks barista puts Chelsie with a smiley face on your Venti Dirty Chai you basically think they’re the most inept human being since Chris Brown. Or those few people who will pronounce it Chel-See-Ah like it’s some foreign name they’ve never heard of before even though it was the name of our 42nd Presidents daughter. I mean come on where did you learn to read?! On this we could instantly relate and understand one another.

9.  She is also obsessed with Disney! I mean I’m not going to lie when she published this, it was on my iPhone is 2.5 second and yes it was on replay. It’s so easy in your twenties to forget that Disney is basically the greatest thing to ever happen to our generation and Disneyland is THE.Happiest.Place.On.Earth Why does anyone even deny this plain God given fact?! Doesn’t matter I can forget the rest of you and Chelsea and I can totally geek out to Disney together.

8.  She uses her powers for good and not evil. I mean this educational wonder should be mandatory reading for every girl upon reaching the age of 18 and then again once she turns 21 and in four year increments thereafter until mature adulthood. There are so many more articles like this where Chelsea could easily write a diatribe about how much she hates people who *insert blank here* but instead she chooses to educate the masses into just how annoying they sound with that garbage coming out of their mouths. Thanks Chels, I would especially love to thank you for #2 because God invented chicken nuggets for consuming.

7. She’s not set on looking at things from just one angle. When I read this gem I printed out several copies for my entire office to read (turns out my boss was indeed a villain the whole time if only I had realized that before he fired me at 11pm at night, who does that?*Note it was not because I printed out the article for the entire office to read that he fired me) because honestly who even thinks this way? It’s honest without being terribly mean and obnoxious and striking that balance is exactly what makes a good friend. I’m pretty sure she’d be the one who would be able to tell you not to wear that skanky, cheap dress out because you look like a too tight squeezed tube of toothpaste without it sounding like what I just said.

6. She’s WORKED (or at least I’m assuming she wrote this from first hand experience but I don’t actually know because we aren’t best friends yet).  She’s paid her dues and learned what she needed from each place. It’s called perspective and it’s something everyone in their twenties is deeply missing, especially Miley Cyrus.

5. She’s a feminist without being one of those annoying feminist that thinks no one should wear bras and should skip shaving their armpits. I agree with this entire list. Enough said.

4.  She already knows what it means to be a best friend, which makes her the perfect best friend! And yes I did post this article to my best friends wall and all she said was “Awww”.

3.  She isn’t afraid to be herself in regards to getting a man, which is oddly reminiscent of another extremely perceptive person who also thinks men can be a bit wishy-washy. I love it. women these days easily bend to being these shadow puppets of what guys want and honestly, we need more twenty-something women to say “fuck that” so things can start to change… Or something like that.

2.  She gets it. She gets me. I mean basically this whole post is a gigantic love letter to my writing soulmate and nothing sums it up more than this article. I mean EVERY SINGLE POINT IS ON POINT. #ShitsExpensive Also this because I have over ten reason why we’d be BFFL and it’s yet another reason why she gets me. I mean come on a CARDIGAN DRESS!!! I HAVE TWO OF THOSE!

1. I started writing this blog in the beginning of October and forgot that I needed to finish and post it but I just didn’t have ALL the reasons why Chelsea and I would defs be best friends in another life until I woke up this morning and saw how utterly perfect and on the nose she is with her latest article. And maybe it’s because I had a guy best friend for the past 4 years that I finally realized is not “in love with me” he’s actually just a jerk who wants attention but not actually me. Or maybe it’s because I’ve had a guy I like tell me I’m lacking a “wow factor” or maybe it’s because I’ve been there, she’s been there, we’ve all BEEN THERE with guys and yet she puts it into words that make you feel as if you wrote them. Everything in your head that you feel she expresses and isn’t that the whole point of writing?!

 

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