Yesterday I had the best day. I woke up
way to goddamn early in a great mood, I had an amazing brunch, I went on a walk by the water, and then I went to work and laughed my ass off so much my abs actually hurt. Then I went home and watched two of my favorite prime time shows and fell into a nice dreamless sleep in my comfy bed all by myself. It was perfect. Then today happened, and it was yet another slump day. For those of you not familiar with this day it’s a day when for no particular reason everything sucks. In most cases it’s because there is nothing apparently wrong but you still feel as if everything’s wrong. Of course, these days never happen on your day off or on vacation when you can appropriately ignore all human beings until you feel better, no they happen on Monday’s when you have to go to work and be an actual participant in society “cheerful”.
It’s not just that I’m having a Slump Day either, I’m in a writing slump too. Ever since this happened I’ve been avoiding my inner Jenna Hamilton and haven’t had anything interesting to write about. I mean other than my mother (and even that’s suspect) no one wants to hear how absolutely normal I’m feeling. Not to mention I’ve got a new job, a new apartment, and yet the same ole bullshit as ever going on in my life. It’s like I’m in a never ending Groundhogs Day of my own life and that shit gets old fast.
So how do you get over a slump?! It’s obviously not shopping, sleeping and eating mass amounts of french fries because I’ve done all of those things today and yet I still feel as if someone kidnapped my dog( for the purposes of this blog I will pretend I have a dog that I would be sad if I found out was kidnapped). And, of course, there are legitimate reasons why I feel like this except I can’t really share my feelings on this blog anymore because every time I do someone
in particular freaks the fuck out and then I have to go back and edit the blog and that just defeats the point.
Add in the fact that my birthday’s in a month and Halloween is just around the corner and that natural “the holiday’s are coming” anxiety is on the rise. Plus there is only so much fucking pumpkin flavored things I can take before I just lose my shit. And, sidenote, why the fuck is the government still shut down?! Slump -___-
… and you want to know the worst part about being in a slump when you’re in your twenties is! ? You still have to do stuff! You still have to go to work and smile and you write those checks for those bills that you don’t even have the money to pay, and you have to ignore the fact that you have at least 3 people currently in your contacts that you want to text and be like “WTF you’re a terrible person and thanks for not really even being my friend” , and you still have to drive in traffic and be basically underappreciated for EVERYTHING. You still have to clean and do laundry and basically continue on with your life as usual because a “slump” is not a good enough excuse for just doing nothing and ignoring everyone. It.Is.The.Worst. No amount of funny Vines or sassy remarks will turn it around just fuck it all.
And that’s why God invented alcohol.