Thought Catalog

If you haven’t already discovered this precious gem which is part “the peoples” blog and part whiners outlet, than let me be the very first to introduce you to it’s perplexing powers. It describes itself as a modern age magazine for twentysomethings to write about being twenty something. A place where people can write anonymously deep piecesinsightful listwitty procrastination pieces, or whatever else they come up with. I’m an avid reader of Thought Catalog and can admit to LOLing at some of the more timely articles but today I read in article that deeply disturbed and bothered me. 10 Reasons 22 is the perfect age?! Like we really need this propaganda in existence when so many things already tell us that we should be having the time of our lives in our twenties. I was immediately upset to read this list (because I myself am 22 and 8 months old so I KNOW it’s not awesome), while most of them have some truths to them, the only one I could really get on board with was that 

is a great song (more about my thoughts on T Swizzle and this song in future post). So I decided to write a counter list just for fairness. I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here but did I not promise you the reality of being in your twenties just yesterday? Exactly.

10 Reasons 22 is NOT the perfect age

1. You still can’t rent a car. Thinking of going on a nice vacation to somewhere without a metro and somehow getting around? Yeah good luck with that.

2. You’re expected to actually pay for booze. You’re not under 21 anymore so the ole “I can’t go get the alcohol but I can throw you a $5?!” just isn’t going to cut it. If you’re going to a party there is no longer an excuse not to BYOB. You’re also no longer 21 where everyday is your 21st birthday and free shots rain supreme. If you’re a pretty girl you may be able to get away with not paying for your own $10 mixed drinks for about another 3 – 5 years but if you’re a dude you are screwed because now you not only have to buy your own booze but also that blonde you hoping to bang too. Sucks.

3. Bills start accumulating. If you’re lucky you have parents that will pay for everything all the time but if you’re a normal, well-adjusted (moderately), human being you don’t even want your parents to pay for everything. That means you probably have at least a cell phone bill and car insurance to worry about. Maybe some students loans, and some car payments too. Oh and if you’re luck enough to be sharing that “dream” apartment with your BFF add gas, water, and electric to that too. Also that new credit card you just got to help boost your credit, it also has a bill. It’s tons of fun- NOT.

4. You have to maintain your temple. Sure you’re metabolism is at it’s peak but those beers sure do pack on the extra lbs. Did you know that gym memberships cost money?! And that year round perfect tan that you had last year because all you had to do was go to a few classes and for some reason the sun just seemed more plentiful, yeah you might want to invest in some spray tan. And those box hair colors are, for some reason, making your hair flat, dry and damaged ladies so time to get to a ritzy salon for some professional help. 22 is the first time you realize that in order to maintain that “I look amazing because I’m 22” look, you actually have to spend time and money. Hard knock life.

5. Because of the 3 aforementioned things you are always broke.

6. People expect you to have a moderate type of job. No one expects you to have that corner office just yet but preferably something that makes slightly over minimum wage is in the cards. You not qualified for a lot of things but you should be qualified for something. Finding that in between job however is quite the doozy.

7. You can’t just be a hot mess. I mean sure you can still play the field, smoke & drink with some abandoned, drive too fast on the freeway and basically think you’re immortal but it’s a small jump from “enjoying your twenties” to “she’s kind of too old to be that reckless”. When you’re 22 you can’t just get high all day and bang whatever moves, for some reason 22 is suppose to be the age of learning what the word moderation means, which to you should mean the start of cutting back on basically everything you’ve been enjoying for approximately 1 – 4 years.

8. Friendships and relationships can start getting sticky. Mainly because 22 is seriously the age you realize you cannot possible be young forever (though it still feels like you’ve got years to clean up you act, if 22 is the new 18 than you have years to go right? Wrong do you remember how long ago you were 18… think about it, feels like yesterday but it’s actually been half a decade. Point proven.) Which means in a relationship or friendship with two people one of you is obviously going to want to grown up an done of you – eh not so much. This can make for some very sticky and/or dramatic situations with people. People of the same sex, people of the opposite sex, basically you have no one.

9. Parents are rendered useless in terms of advice. For some reason between the ages of 14- 18 they seemed to give very good (?!) unsolicited advice. Advice about the opposite sex, clothes, classes you should be taking, the works, but for some reason when you’re 22 they just won’t can’t help you. It stays this way for most of your twenties until you’re either in a serious relationship/ engaged or pregnant (when, of course, you’re back to not wanting any unsolicited advice, duh). Part of it is because the world is so vastly different than when they were 22 and they’re just unequipped to help you and the other part is because 22 is apparently the age when they stop giving a F*&% and decided you need to figure stuff out on your own. Thanks Dad.

10. Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be. That should be seriously depressing to you.

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